Doctrine and Covenants

Section 1: Absurdity

1. This is the preface of my [the Lord's] book of commandments. 1:6
2. The Lord is angry and his sword is bathed (in blood). 1:13
3. So I (the Lord) spoke to Joseph Smith, Jun. from heaven, giving him my commandments. 1:17
4. I am God and these are my commandments. 1:24
5. I [God] gave Joseph Smith, Jun. the power to translate the Book of Mormon. 1:29