Trivia:

Surah 2

THE COW (Al-Madinah)

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

Allah is wise, mysterious, funny
Absurdity Interpretation 2:1-5

1 Alif. Lam. Mim.

Alif. Lam. Mim. [1]

2 This is the Scripture whereof there is no doubt, a guidance unto those who ward off (evil).

There is no doubt about this scripture. It can ward off evil. [2]

3 Who believe in the Unseen, and establish worship, and spend of that We have bestowed upon them;

It helps believers believe in things they can't see, [3]

4 And who believe in that which is revealed unto thee (Muhammad) and that which was revealed before thee, and are certain of the Hereafter.

and in things Muhammad has revealed to them.

They know where they're going when they die.

5 These depend on guidance from their Lord. These are the successful.

They are the successful people. [4]

Allah increases their disease
Cruelty Injustice Intolerance Absurdity 2:6-13

6 As for the Disbelievers, Whether thou warn them or thou warn them not it is all one for them; they believe not.

7 Allah hath sealed their hearing and their hearts, and on their eyes there is a covering. Theirs will be an awful doom.

As for the disbelievers, Allah has covered their ears, eyes, and hearts. [5]

Theirs will be an awful doom. [6]

8 And of mankind are some who say: We believe in Allah and the Last Day, when they believe not.

9 They think to beguile Allah and those who believe, and they beguile none save themselves; but they perceive not.

Some will pretend to believe in Allah and hope to fool Allah on the last day. [7]

10 In their hearts is a disease, and Allah increaseth their disease. A painful doom is theirs because they lie.

11 And when it is said unto them: Make not mischief in the earth, they say: We are peacemakers only.

12 Are not they indeed the mischief-makers? But they perceive not.

But their heart is diseased, and Allah will make their disease worse. [8]

They will have a painful doom because they lied.

13 And when it is said unto them: believe as the people believe, they say: shall we believe as the foolish believe? are not they indeed the foolish? But they know not.

When they are told to believe what others believe, they'll say, "Should we believe what the foolish believe?"

But they are the foolish.